She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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