I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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