she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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