just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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