I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
