I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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