i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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