it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
