I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The uberlube is also flammable
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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