god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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