There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
