I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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