i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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