Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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