You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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