What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he thought i was a dude.
i love accidental penises.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
