you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
