Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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