singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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