wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
