I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
