Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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