I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
