Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
