even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
