I'm drive I can fine osifer
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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