i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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