Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
