It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
