The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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