I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
