Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
