We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
