my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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