Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
