I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
