About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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