the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
