Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
and i looked up. we had an audience...
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Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
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I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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