My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
