I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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