She said her name was "party"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
