i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
no, he came in my armpit
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
