This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
