I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This toilet bowl is my home.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
