He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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