DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
