Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
