At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
