she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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