i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
