take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
