i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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