thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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