my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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