oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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