the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
