But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
