just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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