Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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