no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize