just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
