Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
